I Hate Your Stupid Inspirational Quotes

Social media entrepreneurs sometimes just make my skin crawl.

“The game is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.”

“Your mind is either your greatest enemy or biggest fan.”

“You don’t make money. You take money.”

“Stop dreaming. Start taking action. What are you waiting for?”

“There’s a fine line between engaging and time wasting.”

“If you have to poop, don’t just poop. Take a power dump!”

These were all in my X feed within the first scroll, by the way.

To be fair, that last one is mine and it’s absolutely genius.

But I digress…

Stop trying to sell me boring inspirational bullshit masked as wisdom on social media.

Please, for the love of all that’s holy, just freakin’ stop it, okay?

Not trying to be a Negative Nancy here, but that’s how a lot of these “inspirational tweets” sound. Mine included.

We all sound like pompous asses trying to start some weirdo cult where we, the leader, gets to bang your wife or husband before you do on the wedding night.

It’s not that these things aren’t true. It’s that they’re trite. And shallow. And a little embarrassing.

Please stop with the douchebaggery.

Maybe we can do better?

Maybe we can not be so cliche?

Maybe we can show more personality than a cardboard box?

And no! YOU CANNOT BANG MY WIFE AND/OR HUSBAND ON MY WEDDING NIGHT!

Tell me a story, man.

Don’t give me some platitude that looks like it belongs on a greeting card or inspirational calendar.

Give me the STUFF.

The good stuff.

Entertain me. Enlighten me. Educate me.

If you have the inspirational power of a fortune cookie, I’m not really that interested in trying out your “thing.”

Make a thread, take me on a journey, be genuine, be you.

I don’t need a guru.

I need solutions to my problems.

I don’t need your snarky little comments about how I don’t work hard enough.

I need money to pay my bills.

Your sales technique really needs some work if you think belittling me is going to get me to click your link.

It really needs some work if you think being as shallow as a mud puddle is going to do the trick.

The formula is simple.

Capture my interest + tell me a story + solve a problem = new customer.

If I want horoscope wisdom, I can get that from a newspaper. (They still make those, right?)

Thanks for reading!

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